I made it through February. I must say a lot of time I was easily distracted, or just distracted. I wasn’t able to focus, but that was because I didn’t allow myself to. I noticed times when I caught myself distracted, I was able to control what I want to focus on. I was aware and sometimes I was able to snap out of it, however, in some case I was too caught up in my emotions and thoughts I allowed the distraction to take its toll over me.
So what did I learn February?
I was able to identify my fear and weaknesses:
Fear of rejection: I’m afraid of rejecting others and I’m afraid of being rejected. That’s why I fear asking questions, and that’s why I fear no’s, even if the “no” is the worse that could possibly happen.
Fear of judgement: I’m frightful of other’s opinion. I know everyone is going to judge one another. I know that people don’t even care about me more than half the time. I’m afraid. of other’s opinion, and I’m afraid of looking anything that’s negative to another’s eye.
Being alone: I was able to be alone half of the month, and I hated it. I’m learning to love it, but I’m so used to having supports around me. Having a friend by my side. Doing things with other, that when I’m alone; I do nothing.
It’s March and I’ve met new friends, and I have my old friends. I think it’s time that I do things alone. If I’m afraid, I’ll find someone who’s not afraid to take that extra step with me. At least I will still put in action.
1. I will take more risk: business and adventures
2. I will conversate more with others. I will ask question. I will start and be in control of the conversation
3. I will have more alone time.