April DDSX#4

April DDSX#4

Dear Diary,

I believe I’ve accomplished much in March. Though things have changed from my previous DDSX posts. Maybe sales just isn’t my thing? I’m still unsure, but all I know is that I am now able to focus on things little by little. One by one, instead of focusing on multiple things all at once.

I feel as if that has unlocked one key to happiness. I don’t feel stress. I’m happy.

One of the day in March, my friend literally had about thirty minutes to teach me how to edit some videos and I remember just watching him and thinking, “I am not going to be able to remember all this.” (I have really bad memory) The next day, I turned on my computer, opened program, closed my eyes and started rewinding to the previous night. For a second, I felt as if I was him. Pulling together and apart clips. I’m forever grateful for that thirty minute we had, because I actually learned something.

Also, aside from that. I’m getting comfortable around camera. Being in front or behind camera doesn’t really bother me that much anymore. Especially with the shoots I’ve done.

I’m still waiting to get a call back from the no-kill animal shelter to check the status of my volunteer application. I’m really hoping to work with no-kill animal shelter and also animal advocates and rescues so I can get the experience of how it works and so I can help out as much as I can. One day, I will be able to start my own and save lives.

My goal this month is getting to the L.A fashion district to get some materials for my clothing line.

We’re already a quarter into 2017. I have to stay focus and execute my goal.

Sincerely,

Katt X

 

March DDSX#3

March DDSX#3

Dear Diary,

I made it through February. I must say a lot of time I was easily distracted, or just distracted. I wasn’t able to focus, but that was because I didn’t allow myself to. I noticed times when I caught myself distracted, I was able to control what I want to focus on. I was aware and sometimes I was able to snap out of it, however, in some case I was too caught up in my emotions and thoughts I allowed the distraction to take its toll over me.

So what did I learn February?

I was able to identify my fear and weaknesses:

Fear of rejection: I’m afraid of rejecting others and I’m afraid of being rejected. That’s why I fear asking questions, and that’s why I fear no’s, even if the “no” is the worse that could possibly happen.

Fear of judgement: I’m frightful of other’s opinion. I know everyone is going to judge one another. I know that people don’t even care about me more than half the time. I’m afraid. of other’s opinion, and I’m afraid of looking anything that’s negative to another’s eye.

Being alone: I was able to be alone half of the month, and I hated it. I’m learning to love it, but I’m so used to having supports around me. Having a friend by my side. Doing things with other, that when I’m alone; I do nothing.

It’s March and I’ve met new friends, and I have my old friends. I think it’s time that I do things alone. If I’m afraid, I’ll find someone who’s not afraid to take that extra step with me. At least I will still put in action.

Monthly Goal:

1. I will take more risk: business and adventures

2. I will conversate more with others. I will ask question. I will start and be in control of the conversation

3. I will have more alone time.

Sincerely,

KX